One Year: A Little Transparency

A year ago, you could say I was miserable. I was working full-time at a corporate job and listlessly going to work. I'd wake up each day and dread pulling into that parking garage. It was mentally taxing and dealing with the customer base that I worked with? Exhausting. The people I worked with were my saving grace and honestly, they were the reason why I stayed as long as I did.

But one day, a little light bulb went off. I remember it vividly. One of my former coworkers has a yearly tradition of handwriting personalized Christmas cards. Almost hundreds of them. They're a big deal at the store. They're a big deal because you could say that he isn't the most easily approachable person you'd meet on your first tour of the back. He's very reserved about new people and you have to work hard and do your job correctly to get in his good graces. And if you repeatedly fucked up? Pure contempt. Naturally, we became fast friends. We bonded over being aloof, shady, and ambitious Aquarians that hated stupidity and shared the same Harry Potter house (insert snake emoji).

Aside from our mutual love of throwing shade and well-deserved annoyance of most people, he said that he was glad to still have me around at the store for another year because he knew I would be leaving soon. That's when it hit me: I didn't want to stay. I applied to culinary school a few days later. I finally made up my mind that I was tired of being unhappy: I just wanted to cook and write.

Doing what I love: working on a blog post. This one was for Puerto Rican empanadas.

I think it was some sort of catalyst, really. Because once I made up my mind about not accepting anything that didn't make me happy, things somewhat fell apart. You'd think things would be easier from that point, right? Nope. The universe made sure of that. I tried staying at my corporate job with a part-time schedule. That didn't work. I wanted to balance that and my upcoming coursework. Didn't happen. So I got another part-time job that paid way less money than I was making. It was easy, fun, and related to the culinary industry. I was broke but man, was I happy.

Then, three months later, my manager at the time was promoted to work at another location and her replacement was less than stellar. The day I found out about the changes, I applied for a line cook job at a local restaurant and got it on the spot. I left. Remember, I wasn't doing anything that didn't make me happy. I honestly started on this journey by following my gut and trusting my intuition. I trusted that everything would fall into place. Regardless of what was happening around me.

Next up? I wasn't fulfilled at this job. I didn't actually cook and wasn't being challenged. I was putting food on plates that I didn't make. Moving on! It was like everything I tried wasn't fitting; I was frustrated and tired. Everything I was trying to do wasn't working out. I was starting to doubt what I've been doing these past few months and my anxiety kicked in full-force. I decided to focus on school and make the best of things. I had a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and I was making ends meet by Ubering on weekends. That's all I concerned myself with. By focusing on school, I made the Dean's List each semester and I was able to keep my donated knife kit from the dean by doing well in my classes. Win-win.

Last month, I started a new job. Actually cooking! And my summer classes are dope. And at this point, everything seems to have finally come full circle. I'm fulfilled in school. I'm fulfilled at work. I'm learning new things, being challenged, and having fun. I have people in my life that support me and my creative work. I have friends and family that push me to be better and willingly drag me when I start feeling lazy. I've met new people and have been introduced to new situations that have already furthered my culinary journey. Y'all, I have a little tribe and it's amazing. 

So finally, if you've read this far, a big thank you is in order! To you! For following along and for your support. Thanks for all of the encouragement and recipe suggestions. I see every like and comment on Instagram and Twitter and honestly? It's pretty damn cool knowing that you guys are out here cooking my food and enjoying it. So, cheers to you. Here's to another year and many more!

After beasting our Thanksgiving 2017 dinner solo in my Game of Thrones apron. Wine was needed.